1994-09-08 - Thursday - As days pass, the memories fade and the use of the diary decreases. I'll try to remember. Morning - we repaired to Mandir around 10:15 - You were leaving. After a wait in the 3rd row, You came out suddenly, waving, joking once. No vibhuti at Mandir as too many boys. (In the earlier years, after Swami would leave, those of us who went inside Trayee would be given a handful of vibhuti packets from Swami's bag.) Bhajans (in the Hostel) - could concentrate somewhat, but not much - quite distant from You.
1994-09-09 - Friday - Ganesh Chaturthi - Morning - Sairam (roommate, classmate, co-room-leader) & You had woken me when songs were going on, but I slept again, so that I woke again only after Suprabhatam, went for Nagarsankirtan after brushing - 50% attendance, 25% attention. Then, fixing up power supply for cricket commentary at Pavilion after Hostel Puja, so that I couldn't hear Ravi Kumar Sir's Ganesha talk at Prayer Hall - inauspicious. I took it as "Anthaa Maaya" (everything is maya, a catchphrase of young Swami). Did Photo Electric effect and Rydberg constant till 5 pm, then wasted time, night wrote record, finally out of Shruti. Vishnu (roommate) is (depressed?). I may soon be, if I continue like this.
1994-09-10 - Saturday - Yesterday, I thought of You a little while doing Practicals, but by night, zoom. Today, didn't, much - talking too much with Naresh as B. Galvanometer exasperated us, but finally dinner-time, You came! (in my thoughts). Slow upward swing - want to go and chant with Ganapati group from tomorrow. Asked You to come, Please, Swami, come - I'll clean up my heart - when You're here, I'll be good - Please come - dinner-time. So, feeling much better. Catch Your feet - then can't catch anything else. Please be with me. I'll stop these violent swings. I feel so good when You're near - peaceful. Isn't it because I love You? I'll do anything You say, Please remind me You're here!
1994-09-11 - Sunday - Self-reliance - (Sunday mornings in Brindavan used to be dedicated to "self-reliance" - the equivalent of "socially useful productive work" in CBSE) - being on top of SRH (Sai Ramesh Hall) girders - column speaker testing - certainly made me say, "Sairam, Sairam!" But whole day engrossed in TP (Turbo Pascal, probably) graphics etc. - so, a vacant feel. Study hours Mallu meeting (meeting of Malayali students who would be going to Parthi for Onam), but I felt uncomfortable - my opening remarks to Sudeep - ഇവർക്ക് മലയാളമറിയോ? and മലയാളത്തിൽ പറഞ്ഞാൽ മനസ്സിലാവോ? to Vishal Ucchil seemed to have put him off. Card is heavy responsibility.
1994-09-12 - Monday - Right from the waking at 6 o'clock, problems. Did You go off first or did I drive You out? You will naturally say the latter, and You are always right. So, I've to bring You back. Pashchattapam Praayashchittam (repentance is atonement) - but shouldn't repeat mistakes. No unity of TWD (Thought, Word and Deed) - said am getting for roommates, but temptation, ate a bun. So many other things. Man maila aur tan ko dhoye. Instead of torturing the body, must call You, and end the mind's play. Bend the body: must work hard.
1994-09-13 - Tuesday - Ganesha immersion - So, today's was Karma Yoga. After Suprabhatam, took permission and made timer circuit in Physics lab for card till 8. Ganesha immersion - though I didn't correct the fellows who were simply chatting and walking with the procession, You gave a grand display of cloud and silver lining and rays over Trayee. Then, night - worked on card till 1:30 - got flashing lights circuit made. Night study hours - felt too sleepy to study, so wrote a poem! on sky reminding me of Sai.
1994-09-14 - Wednesday - Somehow stayed alive and kicking. A full day - Comp. Pracs. converted to card-making. Night 8 pm Shankar's seminar also attended, due to Jain Sir. Then, meeting at 9:30, split to make card and other group for pookkalam (floral carpet). Card boys worked till 2 to finish - got provisions from stores at 10 pm! Vijayanand (classmate) shows his gratitude to You for mending his ways in his artistic way. Finally, after showing card to Subramaniam Sir, slept after bath/brushing - 3:45.
Next: Travelling to Parthi for Onam
Comments
Post a Comment
Comments will be moderated. If you wish to contact me, you can email me at hn_88 at rediffmail dot com.