1995-07-22 - Saturday - new Hostel getting ready

1995-07-17 - Monday - Sainath Sir's Electrostatics - seems to do more misinterpretation than anything else. Tho' read Jackson in the Mandir, study hours went in classifying available xerox material. Cavity in pre-molar? Room to be kept locked - thefts. Compulsory games started - morning 6 to 7. Football matches (tournament) going on, so no games. (II PG beat school in semis).

Sinking in academics. Maybe taking Your books to Mandir and doing reference work for the Awareness program may help. But so much is pending ... Today, not too sleepy tho' jogged + whole day work. Maybe because practicals.

You gave the Kundras interview; waiting for someone, You looked sternly over us ...

1995-07-18 - Tuesday - Compulsory games only Mon & Thu for 1st PG, so I'm going to the ground only then. Felt nausea in the morning - due to insufficient nourishment or overfull bowels? Alignment of phototransistors for least noise took up the whole practical session. After bhajans till 8 pm with Sikka Sir & the sampling oscilloscope - doing FFT, saw 50 Hz too much. Case + hi-pass filter may do the trick tomorrow. Dental work on Thursday? Cavity ...

Doing the AWR (Awareness course) classification of Your teachings (on Sainath Sir's prodding) darshan time, kept mind on You. (AWR for this semester is based on Summer Showers 1979.) Could appreciate Your coming close better - walked one round thru bhajan hall / portico. Not speaking to boys, only to doctors.

1995-07-19 - Wednesday - Again worked (in the lab in the evening after Bhajan), this time till 8:30 pm - used function generator for triggering, but 40 MHz noise so that an error of +- 20 ns in the 90 ns reading. Day started (before Suprabhatam) without Ganesa bhajan, so C++ program crashed, thermistor characterization water interference (H2O conducts, 1.6K), CJM wants tomorrow also class at 7:45 - for Mid-Semester exam syllabus finish. Awareness (AWR) - Sainath Sir gave "seminar" using Swami's quotes, Prof then did his own thing till 12:45 or so. "You should be proud" etc etc.

I'm thinking of writing to Sikka Sir, instead I'm writing to You first. I hope it's correct. I should've remembered You more in the morning - but "jo beet gayee so baat gayee" ('past is past' in Hindi, part of a poem we had learnt at school.) You turned Your back to us and talked animatedly for ~ 20 minutes with doctors - ladies must have got good darshan.

Rumours that "You're opening the new Hostel on Sunday" ... "Foreigners to stay there for B'day" ... "Nobody (of boys) to stay there till next year, as cooks, utensils, etc are needed" ...

1995-07-20 - Thursday - Went to Hospital for broken tooth filling - should go on Tuesday evening for filling. Prof going full steam in general tensors (next semester's) - included in Mid-Sems!

Hostel meeting - S4 (Warden) said the new hostel would be for school boys (Swami talked to S4 & Sivaramakr. Sir). Busy with 70th birthday, so we should plead to talk to us. We should deserve. 25 lakh devotees expected for 70th B'day.

1995-07-21 - Friday - Told Sikka Sir we'll do the "speed of light" after Mid Sem exams. He wants us to do using sampling oscilloscope & laser, Prof wants us to do with UG equipment.

Yesterday, I told Ravi (roommate) not to sing film songs, explaining the reason, but today telling Satya (classmate and co-room-leader) his talking to friends outside library when he was supposed to study wasn't OK - I myself am not following what You tell me, then how?

1995-07-22 - Saturday - You went in a Mercedes S500 (new), white, no registration plate, to see new Hostel. Started MASM practicals by copying .COM, .EXE files into my diskette.

Once again, a hiatus in writing this (diary) signifies I'm going away from You. Sleeping too much - 10 pm to 5:30 am. Analysis shows I'm sleeping 7.5 hours, studying < 4. Must improve. But instead, I'm going backward. Deliberately (incredible) I'm trying to fill my mind with dirt in whatever leisure is available. Thamaso ma jyotir gamaya. (Lead me from darkness to light.)

Prof gave Sai Reflections - You talking in English fluently to Guatemala man in car, Mayur Pandya asked why act, said "If I show 4 heads, can't come close - primary school - The cat - T H E ... "No, Swami, 'The cat...' " "Ah! ... The cat ... " - knowing look.