Last night or early this morning, I had a dream. It was the Mandir of the early 1990s. You were walking about, giving darshan, talking to someone here and there. There were relatively few students, I was seated on the "lower portico" which is where the Sai Kulwant Hall stage is located nowadays.
Some of the students appeared to be new to the place, they were standing up etc. Perhaps fresh entrants. There was a Chinese lady with 2-3 children walked up all the way from the ladies' side, talking loudly, up to near the Mandir, Mrs. Shourie came to usher her back and to tell her to maintain silence.
After You went into the interview room, some students moved from their places, and I could move into a place near the aisle on the "middle portico" when You came by again. You stood in front of me to talk to someone, and I could have padanamaskar. When You went back, I tried to look for my sitting mat, it seemed to be misplaced. End of dream.
From this darshan video. The students immediately behind You are seated on the "lower portico". The vibe of the dream was similar, tho' fewer people were there.
I've been reflecting on the last few days, where I felt the analogy of "drowning in Samsara" might be appropriate - so many stressors big and small, in almost every aspect of life. But in a quiet moment or two, I would reflect that many of the occasions were clearly like the Footprints in the Sand parable, where You were carrying me - there's no way the "small i" could have done some of the things which were accomplished, like Mother starting to walk again (with a walker, for 5 minutes a day). And every situation in life is a lesson - if we learn the required lesson - do your best and leave the rest to You - the situation won't repeat.
So, though I'm not able to remember You for extended periods of time, just as in the Narada story, I am convinced that whether I love You or not, You do love me. Whether I call out to You or not, You will save me.
Next: Reflections on life achievements
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