1995-11-01 - Wednesday - As usual, 7 am waking - something must be done to stop. Prof as usual, rest making extension boards. Sikka Sir has gone to Bangalore, so we (C Satya, P Satya & I) are engaged in extension boards. Must remember the quote below. (The quote printed in the diary on this page read, 'The grace of God is like insurance - it helps you in time of need, without limit'.)
Darshan time EM (GWP) (I think this refers to Electromagnetism, Guided Wave Phenomena) so that You kept Yourself inside though I was "reporter" for notice board. Prof. Sharma's humility impresses.
Rohit Gaur's parayanam. Rs. 150 at shrine for dhobi.
Must reduce contact with others - Nagraj, Satya, etc. Their influence shouldn't come - eg. Nagraj said Rohit Gaur parayanam no use, but it was useful.
Some improvement, studied; but more necessary - waking, talking less, to start with, mind too.
1995-11-02 - Thursday - In the afternoon, S4 told us about practicals, having a positive outlook, etc. I'm to check if "Micro Professor" - notebook 8085 - is working. C++ - plotting TE/TM mode characteristic equations. Study hours read newspaper - portable hard disks in India. Seminar (Satya) + Test on Tuesday GWP - Prof. [out of syllabus, actually.]
Since I wasn't particularly dutiful, felt queasy talking to Ramesh for some 10 minutes (Another Rajesh Singh?) after night prayer & meditation... Meditated not on You, but on resolutions! (Mostly left undone). Roommates feel I'm weird (Tarak) reports he. Sure, I'm weird. Why do I beat You out of Your home so often?
1995-11-03 - Friday - GV returned - will be taking classes from Tuesday. Sikka Sir fiasco - S4 wanted him to take one class, not all classes. Prof Sharma meandering his way through proofs - half page Nakahara per day - many pages left ... By night, out of sorts, so went to Amar Singh to get stroked, GV Rao's bumps threats instead.
"Got out of the wrong side of the bed..." Morning blues - RD too. By evening, felt blue in Mandir too, till You came out. You were fondling the small boys Prim. Sch. Also smiling & talking to all. "Brinjal curry". Cold - Akhanda Bhajan? (Probably meaning that I have caught a cold, so would I be able to participate singing during the Akhanda Bhajan.)
1995-11-04 - Saturday - Prof's test on Tue + Satya's seminar. Chithra's music program in Poornachandra till 5:30, then Akhanda Bhajan at Mandir 6 to 6. Saw Baleshchettan (Father's cousin) watching Chithra program [only one Malayalam song, Kesadi padam thozhunne - rest were Telugu songs on Swami.]
Screenshot from this video - Dayaku Premaku | Indian Playback Singer Smt K S Chithra | Nov 04, 1995 | Sri Sathya Sai Sangeet #10
Sitting for Akhanda Bhajan - aim - to think of You. So, though voice vanished in 2 hours (due to the cold mentioned above), sat through.
Chitra singing all songs in praise of You - in sari - backtracking on BCIC program where she sang the "controversial godman" song?
1995-11-05 - Sunday - Had 4 bananas (bought on Sat night) for breakfast, then dinner. No ill effects except voice gone.
Something made me skip lunch - so was inside Bhajan hall from 8 pm till 6 pm except half hour break for brushing teeth etc. at 4 am. So, got padanamaskar! All those who were inside Bhajan hall! And You put Your fingers firmly on my head "for support" while walking, looked into my eyes. I was dropping off into sleep when not clapping, so kept clapping all evening. Knees and bottom sore.
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