Screenshot from this video.
1995-03-08 - Wednesday - As I announced yesterday, 7:25 breakfast, II years Awareness exam Prize Distribution - Maths Dept. Suresh and I (!) (not Shankar!) got prizes - quotation table-top. "The Gift of God" for me. NP and Microprocessors only, Microprocessors over. Afternoon - EFY, wrote projects, invigilated half an hour for Ist years' written viva. Took QM from Pingali and read (Arvind took my copy). Math - couldn't do Special Functions as Sir couldn't give me the list allotted to me - too busy. Letter to Swami and to A3 (parents and sister) about contact lenses.
State is slightly improved. After that Bhagavatham revelation, and also firm proof of the Prof. effect [I was so out of Shruti that I was tapping spoon on bowl] showed me way out. Thank You. Then, today, You gave me thru Math Dept. the most apt quote stand - Lord God calling my name to walk with me ... simple hand of faith is enough to receive so great a gift ... So You brought me closer again, could visualize You once or twice in the day (! That's the best I could do!) - a great improvement!
1995-03-09 - Thursday - Morning classes - atomic spectra bouncing slightly, M. P. over. Afternoon - did Special Functions assignment and put in Subramaniam Sir's room. As went to college, wasted an hour in Library looking at Atlases and travelogues. QM - Linear Algebra is sure sleep inducing. Moral class - small shield or mounted medal for academic excellence in each class.
Slight improvement again, but wasting time in Library was potentially catastrophic (You spared me). Yesterday I was remembering the time when You became so human that Your teeth chattered one cold morning, You came inside and sneezed.
1995-03-10 - Friday - Morning classes and afternoon free (viva) continues. NP - only 2 more classes! Getting up late in the mornings - around 5.25. Actually today, no class at all - viva morning also. I invigilated at 1st years' viva (written) for half an hour, (Santosh other half). EFY (Electronics For You) - wrote circuits and stored in other diary.
Improvement went to dogs. Analysis, thinking of young days' "kuri nettiyil" of blood-red (the mark I used to sometimes have on my forehead) ... Yoga bhrashta? Not so advanced, as very temporal brain patterns exist, yet ...
1995-03-11 - Saturday - Whole day wasted except study hours - slept in the afternoon, morning classes. Study hours - finished Matrix mechanics. Now, special functions and 2 QM chapters are left (to complete before final exams).
I am "forfeiting the comfort of the dear Friend". So, moods swing, etc. Also, studies suffered - only study hours - imagine. Everything is affected, naturally. Moody --> I talk in excess sometimes and am taciturn sometimes. And I trouble Vishnu (room-mate and cupboard-mate - meaning that his place was right next to mine in the room) with all this.
1995-03-12 - Sunday - Again, no studies till study hours - after 4:30 to 5 am doubt-clearing, sleep, a little bit of cricket telecast, haircut, etc.
A relatively better day. Analyzed condition, saw that all problems start when I'm too lazy to do what I'm supposed to do, especially when that is not so clearly (explicitly) mentioned. Opening Bhagavata gave the solution - "For people afflicted by sorrow due to preponderance of senses, singing the name of the Lord is the solution. Yoga can help, but won't give Self satisfaction."
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